Files from the Rich Benson Archive Vol. 3
Tell me about "Stewy Rice" = New Customer!
Yes, it's the truth. Every single inquiry about delicious "Stewy Rice" has led to a new customer, one who is delightfully satisfied by the fragrant stewy odors and delicious lip-smacking tastes of meaty stew over rice.
For starters, it is--of course you've already realized this--absolutely impossible to compare Chili Rice to Stewy Rice. It is like trying to compare infinite love to eternal bliss, a daunting task that cannot be accomplished and should not even be attempted. What we can say is that in making "Stewy Rice" we bathe the process in loving care so that you may experience pure gustatory bliss in your dining experience.
We are swamped with requests that ask, "What's in the stew," and we realize that this is an undisguised--and often unrecognized by the consumer--attempt to weasel out our secret recipe from our Chefs. Yes, Chefs! "Stewy Rice" is special to us, so we don't employ common cooks to prepare your food, we utilize the remarkable talents of famous Chefs hired--at enormous expense, mind you--from around the globe. As you can imagine, we pack in the goodness. We pour in the unique flavors. We select only the finest animals from which to carve large, choice cuts of meat. The perfect vegetables used in "Stewy Rice” are actually grown in real gardens in real, mineral rich soil. The thick, deliciously delightful gravy is a secret concoction of balanced spices, known only to our Chef de Food, who is directed by, and works directly under our world famous Chef de Bean. Lots of what you want as well as lots of everything else goes into "Stewy Rice," you can count on that!
How much Stew? Too much, it seems, but actually not enough! As strange as that last statement seems, it's true. Let me explain. When you're through eating a heaping plateful of Stewy Rice (if you can finish it!), you are so satisfied that you feel you couldn't possibly eat another bite. But a short time later, with the delicious flavors of Stewy Rice still lingering in your mouth, you feel as if you haven't had enough Stewy Rice! This is a puzzle which confounds even our world famous Chefs, but which keeps Stewy Rice converts coming back time after time for more and more.
Because of the deliciousness of Stewy Rice, it's careful preparation takes plenty of time and only the finest ingredients are used. Since this is the case, we are forced to prepare only small batches of Stewy Rice for consumption. This means we run out of the wholesome Stewy Rice very early each and every day as demanding customers continually swamp our little restaurant. Normally, I would advise coming early to insure you receive a desirable, delicious, heaping plate of Stewy Rice, but actually I'm going to plead with you to stay away. Don't fight the crowds to experience Stewy Rice. Don't drive in here before everyone else and guarantee yourself a plateful of magnificent Stewy Rice. Don't even bring enough money for a second helping of Stewy Rice, even though you'll want it. Don't daydream about all of the exotic, delicious flavors of Stewy Rice that will drive you crazy until your palate is satisfied. Why keep Stewy Rice on your mind when you're at work? Why dwell on the delicious experience of Stewy Rice and torment yourself? Just put the joyous satisfaction of enjoying a wonderful plateful of good Stewy Rice right out of your mind. Don't dwell on the delicious flavors and don't think about the tasty ingredients. This way you won't rush here as soon as possible to buy as much Stewy Rice as you can comfortably enjoy.
Thanks for inquiring about Chef de Bean's world renowned Stewy Rice!
Chef de Bean
Inventor of Stewy Rice
Yes, it's the truth. Every single inquiry about delicious "Stewy Rice" has led to a new customer, one who is delightfully satisfied by the fragrant stewy odors and delicious lip-smacking tastes of meaty stew over rice.
For starters, it is--of course you've already realized this--absolutely impossible to compare Chili Rice to Stewy Rice. It is like trying to compare infinite love to eternal bliss, a daunting task that cannot be accomplished and should not even be attempted. What we can say is that in making "Stewy Rice" we bathe the process in loving care so that you may experience pure gustatory bliss in your dining experience.
We are swamped with requests that ask, "What's in the stew," and we realize that this is an undisguised--and often unrecognized by the consumer--attempt to weasel out our secret recipe from our Chefs. Yes, Chefs! "Stewy Rice" is special to us, so we don't employ common cooks to prepare your food, we utilize the remarkable talents of famous Chefs hired--at enormous expense, mind you--from around the globe. As you can imagine, we pack in the goodness. We pour in the unique flavors. We select only the finest animals from which to carve large, choice cuts of meat. The perfect vegetables used in "Stewy Rice” are actually grown in real gardens in real, mineral rich soil. The thick, deliciously delightful gravy is a secret concoction of balanced spices, known only to our Chef de Food, who is directed by, and works directly under our world famous Chef de Bean. Lots of what you want as well as lots of everything else goes into "Stewy Rice," you can count on that!
How much Stew? Too much, it seems, but actually not enough! As strange as that last statement seems, it's true. Let me explain. When you're through eating a heaping plateful of Stewy Rice (if you can finish it!), you are so satisfied that you feel you couldn't possibly eat another bite. But a short time later, with the delicious flavors of Stewy Rice still lingering in your mouth, you feel as if you haven't had enough Stewy Rice! This is a puzzle which confounds even our world famous Chefs, but which keeps Stewy Rice converts coming back time after time for more and more.
Because of the deliciousness of Stewy Rice, it's careful preparation takes plenty of time and only the finest ingredients are used. Since this is the case, we are forced to prepare only small batches of Stewy Rice for consumption. This means we run out of the wholesome Stewy Rice very early each and every day as demanding customers continually swamp our little restaurant. Normally, I would advise coming early to insure you receive a desirable, delicious, heaping plate of Stewy Rice, but actually I'm going to plead with you to stay away. Don't fight the crowds to experience Stewy Rice. Don't drive in here before everyone else and guarantee yourself a plateful of magnificent Stewy Rice. Don't even bring enough money for a second helping of Stewy Rice, even though you'll want it. Don't daydream about all of the exotic, delicious flavors of Stewy Rice that will drive you crazy until your palate is satisfied. Why keep Stewy Rice on your mind when you're at work? Why dwell on the delicious experience of Stewy Rice and torment yourself? Just put the joyous satisfaction of enjoying a wonderful plateful of good Stewy Rice right out of your mind. Don't dwell on the delicious flavors and don't think about the tasty ingredients. This way you won't rush here as soon as possible to buy as much Stewy Rice as you can comfortably enjoy.
Thanks for inquiring about Chef de Bean's world renowned Stewy Rice!
Chef de Bean
Inventor of Stewy Rice
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